Paint Her Black


Precious pain

Paints her

Portraits

In black –

All her landscapes

Are flooded…

Men are alone

With her

And walk with her

In solidarity

Of solitude.

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PINK 26


I am in a car,

Stepping out.

I walk into a shop,

Not spending any money,

I feel in my pocket,

I have £26.00,

Two £10 notes.

One £5 note.

And a one pound coin.

Strange that I should notice this.

I get back in the car,

I start the engine…

 

I have lost something.

You were the yang to my yin.

I was the smart one, you were the rebel.

My family tried to raise me,

But you were more than family,

They try too hard to stop my grief.

 

Because of you, my role is now reversed,

I am yang, yet still yin.

I am now the rebel.

I try and force a change upon my mind and sprit.

I can not change, I need to tip the balance,

Of my heart and mind.

I sit on my bed on this fateful night, I am a fading light.

The cold rain falls, covering my window with dripping droplets,

My hands shiver as I grasp the bottle, as I dye my hair pink, 

This seemingly insignificant act is my symbolic, cataclysmic last straw.

 

I step out of my room,

Into the the hall.

 

I am home.

I am not leaving.

I just need to breathe…

 

I say this as I go out the back,

Leaving the door unlocked.

 

I start walking up a rain covered road,

Mercury-like water flows down this slope,

This is a very black road, my darkest night.

 

I get on the bus to everywhere,

When I get there,

Will I even care,

Or have enough to pay the fare?

 

I feel in my pocket,

I have £26.00,

Two £10 notes.

One £5 note.

And a one pound coin.

Strange that I should notice this.

 

Green, yellow, white,

A triad of hallucinogenic colours

on this bright night horizon,

 

Strange black trees stand either side of this narrowing road

They move with the road, they are stark sudden movements,

The trees get closer to each other as the road narrows,

Till they merge into a blurry line as the road disappears.

 

Goodbye reality…

 

Smashed glass,

The bed stained pink…